First impressions count. This is true whether we want it to be or not.
The first time potential romantic interest sees you on an online dating site, they see your photos. Not your personality, not your likes and not your “About Me” section.
How to be more good-looking
Now, people judging you on your photos is not the same as people judging you on your looks. How you present yourself to the world and in photos is not the same as your genetically inherited looks. Your photos tell a story – as I will explain in this article. You want to tell a story through your photos that is both fascinating and makes the person viewing your profile want to know more.
“Just not my type”
It’s true that some people have “types” or physical attributes that they find attractive: tall, blonde, brunette, muscular, tattoos, etc. But there are traits that are attractive to all humans no matter their personal preference. These include (but are not limited to): health markers, social intelligence, ability to have fun and enjoy life, being able to provide for oneself and for others, drive and ambition to succeed, etc. If you can display these traits through your photos, you will see your response rates soar and you’ll have more dates than you can handle.
The Big 3
Psychologists and fortune-tellers alike say that all of our problems in life occur in 3 areas: Health, Wealth and Relationships. So if you can display in your photos that you have these 3 areas of your life handled, you’ll get more messages, responses and dates without any effort.
Here are a few tips:
- Photos that show your body should be active: doing something more fun and important than showing off your body. This means bathroom selfies are out. For men, a photo of you surfing or rock climbing with your shirt off works well. For women, a photo of you swimming, dancing or doing yoga will hint at your physique without showing too much.
- A photo of you surrounded by other people smiling ticks the relationships box. It shows that other people enjoy your company and that you have friends.
- Photos with pets also show good provider/caring traits. How can anyone who loves cats or dogs be a bad person? We like and trust humans that show compassion and tenderness towards those weaker than us.
Book a session with a professional photographer to create a folder you can choose from. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You can find a photography student at the local college who wants to build a portfolio. Just make sure they don’t come out too “slick” as if you did a modelling shoot.
How many photos is the right amount to display on your profile? Answer: 3-5 is the golden number. Fewer than 3 and people might not believe it’s you. More than 5 and you will increase the chance of somebody finding something they don’t like in one of the photos.
It’s not about being yourself in online dating; it’s about showing your “best” self.